Melting

The Burly Man’s kids are here for the weekend. The younger one is having trouble with his multiplication tables, so I downloaded an app on the Nook for him to play with, and gave him some tips that help me still. After we were done, I went in to chat with the burly man, who said this:

“You’re a good Mommy. Thank you for waiting for us. I know it was hard for you, but I’m glad you did.”

Luke chapter 2 states that Mary took all the things surrounding Jesus’ birth – shepherds worshipping, singing angels – tresured them and pondered them in her heart. I’m notĀ  comparing the Burly kids to Jesus, but I’ll treasure that comment and ponder it in my heart for a long time to come.

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Anticipation

My horoscope for today reads thusly:

You might feel as if you’re on a roll now. Or, perhaps, it seems like you should be getting ready for something really big. You can feel the changes coming, even if you’re still trying to hold yourself back. However, it’s not smart to focus on your worries or fears. Today’s thoughts shape tomorrow, so visualize the amazing opportunities in front of you. Tie up any loose ends from your past because you don’t want anything to get in the way of your future.

(Bolded for emphasis.)

I don’t usually pay a great deal of attention to the horoscope; most of the time, I think they’re generic with a little something that anyone could recognize as pertinent to them. Sometimes, however, the posting for the day for Gemini just seems to hit the proverbial nail on the head. Today is one such day.

I’m waiting to hear back from an interview I had on Tuesday. The Monday interview with another company went really well, so it’s nice to be in a position to choose – so many people aren’t. However, the anticipation of the response is starting to fray my nerves a bit. I really want this job. I want to be doing something new, with a learning curve, instead of doing what I’ve always been doing, in the same industry I’ve been in for years. I want my answer, and I want it now. (insert child stomping feet)

Yesterday, I checked my email much more frequently than normal. I’m fighting the urge right now to stop writing forĀ  a second to refresh my email for news. I’ve also been worried that I didn’t answer a question right (What makes the difference between the excellent sales person and the not excellent… I went on and on about customer contact, but the obvious answer – five minutes after I left the office – is product knowledge plus customer contact) and I’ve been beating myself up for not throwing in the obvious component to the answer that I missed. Secretly, I think that answer blew my opportunity with this company.

So, I’m taking the advice of my horoscope and I’m going to visualize the answer I want. That’s seems pretty New Agey and non-Christian, but how different is that thought from the “name it and claim it” philosophy spouted by however many mainstream Christian churches? I’ll give it a whirl. I am also concentrating on the kitchen today, getting it clean, getting things where I want.

I may even bake.

Hope Springs Eternal, or Spring Hopes Eternally

My job at Verizon wrapped up sooner than I thought. I started looking for a new job on February 15th. The writing was on the wall – obviously the web portal for the iPhone sale worked better than anticipated and all the resources Verizon gathered to help weren’t needed. I think I might have taken two to three calls an hour that last week. People were going to have to go home.

All this time that my employment has been sporadic, it’s been hard, but we’re making it without too much pain. What we’ve needed, we’ve had on hand to supply. We’re amazingly blessed, during this recession, to have been able to get by with what we have.

So here we are, at the start of Spring. I know I will have a new job shortly. I don’t know where yet, although I do want to be the pick of the litter for PowerScore. (I go back for a third interview, with the CEO, on Tuesday. Keep your fingers crossed – I can’t say how much I’d like to work for this company.) It will come soon, and 2011 will end up being a better year than 2010.

I know it’s a cliche, that hope springs eternal. However, what do we have, if we don’t have hope? If we don’t have that something to look forward to, that things will get better, I’ll lose that 10 pounds, I’ll land that job, we’ll buy our dream house, and ultimately that Heaven awaits and at last we’ll see the Face of Love when we get there … then there’s nothing but turmoil, pain, struggle, loneliness, death.

Who wants to wake up every morning with that? Isn’t it better, even if the things we hope for (I’m not including Heaven in this statement) never come to fruition, to have that bright star to set our sites on, to reach for? To always be hoping, in staying optimistic, I think is the way to reach your best.

It’s springtime here in Charleston. The days are appreciably warmer. The sun shines more than it doesn’t. The camellias are in bloom and the azaleas are about to burst forth. There’s an anticipation in the air that is almost tangible. There is hope in the air… can’t you feel it?

What in the World?

As I type it is 2:45 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. I got off from work at 12 noon. I just got home. I went to the bank, and ran into the grocery store to pick up some last minute items for tomorrow. I was going to go into Walmart to pick up a prescription. Ha! It took me 25 minutes on the street just to get from one entrance to the next. I’ll live, I think, without the medicine till Saturday.

How on earth does this hurry-hurry, busy-ness, being rushed and hassled do anything to glorify Our Lord or tell the people we care about that we love them? If we’re so worn out and exhausted from the preparations for the holiday that we snap and growl at each other, what’s been accomplished?

Next year, I’m taking a break from Christmas, I believe – not the true meaning of the holiday, but I’m opting out of the madness I saw this afternoon.

Sometimes it’s just too much

And sometimes it’s not enough. Life, that is. Lately I’ve been a slug on my days off. Well, Saturday saw to 8 loads of laundry and cleaning the kitchen, but there was so much else to do that didn’t get done at all over the weekend. In my quest to just take every day as it comes and be in this moment only, I don’t pause for much introspection on my slothfulness. Perhaps it is just because I run 400 miles an hour at work every day. I fear, however, that the slothfulness on the weekends is becoming a habit I won’t be able to break.