Not so happy…

Last night I had a small snack, took the Lipitor and the Glucovance. Got up this morning and tested….135, what it has been most mornings. I’m a bit upset, but just because I want to get my bg down down down….

Yesterday ended up being a rollercoaster ride. 107 first thing in the morning. Something happened between getting to work, eating breakfast and getting ready for Manager’s Meeting that caused my bg to soar to 211. I felt it before I went to work. I had extreme energy and had to run to the ladies’ room twice before the meeting. I tested after the meeting because I was still on edge. And was shocked. I walked around the building three times, and it came down to 134. By lunchtime it was 112.

So, was breakfast, which I’ve had before on the weekend with a 1 point change in bg at 2 hours post prandial testing, the thing that caused the problem? Or was it the stress of driving behind an 18-wheeler on a two-lane highway? Or the stress of having a tough manager’s meeting at the end of a tough business month? I don’t know.

So, as stated in yesterday’s post, I will be taking the Glucovance with dinner, and taking the Actos at bedtime.

sigh.

Well, I Survived

Last night before going to bed I ate a small snack, took the Lipitor I take to thwart my evil cholesterol levels, and the Glucovance that works diligently to keep my blood sugar in check, and the new script Actos to help keep that morning blood sugar in the normal ranges, and then crawled into bed with my new book.

And as I settled down, I counted the meds again….lipitor? check. glucovance? well, I normally take it with dinner, but check. Actos? Wait! That’s an a.m. pill! Oh, no! Have I poisoned myself? ?I was bolt upright with panic.

However, the lures of the new book drew my attention there, and soon I was drifting off to sleep, panic diminished.

This morning. I again was bolt upright, happy to be awake, for one. I tested quickly, and was relieved to see a happy 107 bs reading (bs has a whole new and different meaning for me since the diabetes diagnosis). My fasting blood sugar has not been that low since I was put on the medicine. It was starting to upset me that we couldn’t get it down.

So now the question is this: is the morning reading due to the Glucovance taken at bedtime instead of with dinner? or was it the Actos at night instead of in the morning?  I will have to experiment – not too much, it’s my health and I don’t want to jeopardize anything by playing the medicine combination. However, I see no harm in experimenting with the timing of my dosage. Tonight, I’m going to take the Lipitor and Glucovance at bedtime again, and take the Actos in the morning like I’m supposed to, and we’ll see Wednesday morning if that was the trigger. If not, I’ll take the Glucovance at dinner as per normal, and take the Actose at bedtime with the Lipitor. And then test Thursday.

and so on and so on…..

Overwhelmed with Information

I’m a book geek. My first reaction to almost anything is to look for a book on whatever topic is on my mind. I buy cable packages based on the availability of CSPAN2, which turns into BookTV on the weekends. I love books, although I have to admit I don’t take as good care of my books as I should.

The point here is, with the diabetes diagnosis, I went overboard on the information. I have bookmarked a good half dozen sites, joined alt.support.diabetes on usenet, and have a stack of books from the library. I’m scheduled for 4 educational sessions at Trident Hospital in October.

I’m so overwhelmed with information, I don’t know where to start with things. It’ll come, I know. I’m in much better spirits this weekend than last weekend. My sugar seems to be in good control right now on meds and diet. I’ve lost some weight – woohoo! Although I’m not sure if that’s from the diabetes or the little bursts of exercise I’m doing. It’s better if its the latter.

Things are coming together, I think. I’m working on absorbing all this information and dissecting it, adapting my lifestyle to it…

Right now, I need a nap.

Well, I do say it’s the journey

Although my destination is a long healthy future with as little complications from this diabetes thingy as possible, the journey is off to a rocky start. There are several little goblins raising their heads after my initial stable acceptance of the diagnosis. They are, in no particular order:

  • I have a doctors appointment every week for the next five weeks, which come up to about $125 in co-pays. (yes, I am thankful I have insurance)
  • being screened for cholesterol, blood pressure, etc., all these other chronic things that go along with diabetes. So now I get to worry about strokes and heart attacks, too.
  • figuring out how to eat at a regular time on Thursday and Friday evenings…Brian cooks for me on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights, so dinner is waiting when I get home from work. He works the other evenings, and I don’t get home from work till 7. By the time I cook and eat, it’s almost time for bed. which then throws off my blood sugar in the morning. which makes for a not good morning
  • the little freak outs that happen when my blood sugar is high. I almost don’t have to test to know I’m high….the fact that I’m angry, frustrated and fighting off tears is enough
  • the cost of testing strips is criminal!
  • being freaked out over the cost of everything
  • being freaked out at the change in status – what will this diagnosis do to my ability to get insurance? Am I stuck in a job that I may not entirely be happy in because of the group insurance? If I change jobs will the costs of my diabetes treatment be covered?
  • being paralyzed by being freaked out. It’s all so overwhelming right now I’m stuck in a spot where I can’t seem to do anything but scream inside. I might not be in a place to make good decisions, but being able to make one would be nice.

I know that this is all just self-absorbed, self-important navel-gazing and a bit of a pity party. I’m a bit shocked that I’m feeling this now. Maybe it’s an appropriate progression of emotions. I did read in “Diabetes for Dummies” that diabetics self-identify as depressed at a higher rate than non-diabetic people. When I read that, I thought, ‘hmm, that’s interesting.’ I understand that statistic better after this week.

So, this weekend, the goal is to un-freak a bit. I’m getting my hair done. I’m ignoring the political blogs i normally read. I’m going to cook dinner today for Thursday and Friday next week, so I have something ready to eat when I get home. I’m going to be proactive about it, and get my head straightened out.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Oh, and I have to say… Brian is a saint for putting up with the mood swings, the crying, the snapping….he’s a great guy, and I don’t ever tell him enough how special he is.

Long Time, No Post

My last posts were in March, right before I was asked to spearhead a project at work that is ongoing….I’ve been so wiped out when I get home that I hardly have the energy to clean the kitchen after supper.

I discovered last Tuesday that I can’t blame the job for my being so tired. I was diagnosed with diabetes. I’m not too terribly surprised; I’ve struggled with reactive hypglycemia for years and knew eventually the doctor would say the dreaded D word.

It actually makes things – like being so tired, or the thirst I was blaming on the decongestant the allergist gave me, or getting really emotional – make sense. The medication the doctor gave me to help lower my blood sugar gives me some digestive problems, but I feel so much better with my blood sugar in normal ranges that it’s worth the diagnosis and all the things I have to do differently now to stay healthy. I was reading alt.support.diabetes yesterday evening and poster commented that for many people, diabetes is a blessing in disguise because they’re healthier now, more knowledgable and focused on their diet and exercise.

stay tuned for more…i’m going to try to blog my way through my illness.