You Gotta Get Up
December 24, 2009 
by Rich Mullins
A Christmas song by my favorite contemporary Christian artist, Rich Mullins. Using this to unwind from the day and prepare my head and heart for the holiday.
What in the World?
December 24, 2009 
As I type it is 2:45 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. I got off from work at 12 noon. I just got home. I went to the bank, and ran into the grocery store to pick up some last minute items for tomorrow. I was going to go into Walmart to pick up a prescription. Ha! It took me 25 minutes on the street just to get from one entrance to the next. I’ll live, I think, without the medicine till Saturday.
How on earth does this hurry-hurry, busy-ness, being rushed and hassled do anything to glorify Our Lord or tell the people we care about that we love them? If we’re so worn out and exhausted from the preparations for the holiday that we snap and growl at each other, what’s been accomplished?
Next year, I’m taking a break from Christmas, I believe – not the true meaning of the holiday, but I’m opting out of the madness I saw this afternoon.
Early Morning Wonderings
December 24, 2009 
Why is it that the cats don’t have digestive upsets until early early in the morning?
Do you think the early morning hacking sounds that pull me out of a deep sleep at 4:30 might have anything to do with high morning blood sugar readings? I’m beginning to think they do.
Why is it that the man in my house cannot cook something as simple as scrambled eggs and bacon, but the kitchen looks like he’s been cooking his way through Mastering the Art of French Cooking?
Why do I get bogged down in material aspects of Christmas?
Why do I stress over giving things to people I haven’t really had interaction with all year, but feel I must now because it’s Christmas?
Would I really not get paid for my holiday if I called in “sick” this morning? (I suspect the answer is ‘yes’, so off to work I go anyway)
Sometimes it’s just too much
And sometimes it’s not enough. Life, that is. Lately I’ve been a slug on my days off. Well, Saturday saw to 8 loads of laundry and cleaning the kitchen, but there was so much else to do that didn’t get done at all over the weekend. In my quest to just take every day as it comes and be in this moment only, I don’t pause for much introspection on my slothfulness. Perhaps it is just because I run 400 miles an hour at work every day. I fear, however, that the slothfulness on the weekends is becoming a habit I won’t be able to break.
Home Sick
As in I was at home today sick with a bug, not home sick. But sometimes, I am homesick, and get overcome with nostalgia. I usually lay down with a cool compress till it goes away. Which, funny as it may be, is what I do when I’m home sick, too. ::smile::
I was telling a co-worker the other day that I miss the mother I thought I had. Not the real one, the one that manipulates and hurts, is spiteful and mean and ugly and drives everyone around her away. The one that had me tied in knots trying to please her – as a child and as an adult. Until one day the grown up me realized that nothing I could ever do would make her happy or please her. So I stopped. And stopped talking to her.
About six months ago she tried to make contact. Well, she didn’t, she had a friend do it. Between my home number and cell, they called 8 times. They called my sister a couple of times too, but she answered because she didn’t recognize the friend’s name and number.
It happened again today. It’s not been a good day anyway – I’ve spent most of last night and today going between being freezing and sweating. I’m worried because of the diabetes and how being sick will affect my bg control. I texted our GSM this morning to let him know, he’s out and told me to call work and let my department know. I also texted our owner, whose reply was read by me to mean he didn’t beleive I’d called. Which may just be paranoia, or not. I felt better this afternoon and took lunch to the SO at 4pm. When I got back home…5 calls on the home phone and a message from someone I have no clue who they are. Mom’s number just showed on my cell phone.
I’m sick, and tired; work is constant stress. The diabetes diagnosis blew me completely off track with everything else. And now this woman to whom I can no longer give honor is pestering me. I can’t talk to her, it will only come ’round to hurt me later. She has no boundaries, so I had to construct them for her. And unfortunately, the boundaries are high and rigid.
Do I feel bad about that? Sometimes. I feel sorry for her that her fear of being left alone has led her to a point where she is all alone. But not enough that I’m going to sacrifice the gains I’ve made in my own well-being.
So I weep for the past that wasn’t really all that great, and I weep for her, and for what could have been.
And then lay down with a cold compress till the fever passes.
Not so happy…
Last night I had a small snack, took the Lipitor and the Glucovance. Got up this morning and tested….135, what it has been most mornings. I’m a bit upset, but just because I want to get my bg down down down….
Yesterday ended up being a rollercoaster ride. 107 first thing in the morning. Something happened between getting to work, eating breakfast and getting ready for Manager’s Meeting that caused my bg to soar to 211. I felt it before I went to work. I had extreme energy and had to run to the ladies’ room twice before the meeting. I tested after the meeting because I was still on edge. And was shocked. I walked around the building three times, and it came down to 134. By lunchtime it was 112.
So, was breakfast, which I’ve had before on the weekend with a 1 point change in bg at 2 hours post prandial testing, the thing that caused the problem? Or was it the stress of driving behind an 18-wheeler on a two-lane highway? Or the stress of having a tough manager’s meeting at the end of a tough business month? I don’t know.
So, as stated in yesterday’s post, I will be taking the Glucovance with dinner, and taking the Actos at bedtime.
sigh.
Well, I Survived
Last night before going to bed I ate a small snack, took the Lipitor I take to thwart my evil cholesterol levels, and the Glucovance that works diligently to keep my blood sugar in check, and the new script Actos to help keep that morning blood sugar in the normal ranges, and then crawled into bed with my new book.
And as I settled down, I counted the meds again….lipitor? check. glucovance? well, I normally take it with dinner, but check. Actos? Wait! That’s an a.m. pill! Oh, no! Have I poisoned myself? ?I was bolt upright with panic.
However, the lures of the new book drew my attention there, and soon I was drifting off to sleep, panic diminished.
This morning. I again was bolt upright, happy to be awake, for one. I tested quickly, and was relieved to see a happy 107 bs reading (bs has a whole new and different meaning for me since the diabetes diagnosis). My fasting blood sugar has not been that low since I was put on the medicine. It was starting to upset me that we couldn’t get it down.
So now the question is this: is the morning reading due to the Glucovance taken at bedtime instead of with dinner? or was it the Actos at night instead of in the morning? I will have to experiment – not too much, it’s my health and I don’t want to jeopardize anything by playing the medicine combination. However, I see no harm in experimenting with the timing of my dosage. Tonight, I’m going to take the Lipitor and Glucovance at bedtime again, and take the Actos in the morning like I’m supposed to, and we’ll see Wednesday morning if that was the trigger. If not, I’ll take the Glucovance at dinner as per normal, and take the Actose at bedtime with the Lipitor. And then test Thursday.
and so on and so on…..
Overwhelmed with Information
I’m a book geek. My first reaction to almost anything is to look for a book on whatever topic is on my mind. I buy cable packages based on the availability of CSPAN2, which turns into BookTV on the weekends. I love books, although I have to admit I don’t take as good care of my books as I should.
The point here is, with the diabetes diagnosis, I went overboard on the information. I have bookmarked a good half dozen sites, joined alt.support.diabetes on usenet, and have a stack of books from the library. I’m scheduled for 4 educational sessions at Trident Hospital in October.
I’m so overwhelmed with information, I don’t know where to start with things. It’ll come, I know. I’m in much better spirits this weekend than last weekend. My sugar seems to be in good control right now on meds and diet. I’ve lost some weight – woohoo! Although I’m not sure if that’s from the diabetes or the little bursts of exercise I’m doing. It’s better if its the latter.
Things are coming together, I think. I’m working on absorbing all this information and dissecting it, adapting my lifestyle to it…
Right now, I need a nap.
A Little Something to Keep You Awake…
Saw this on Ace of Spades last night. Not for the faint of heart, but here’s the pic:
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- “I woke up and heard a strange scratching sound. I turned on the light and saw this monster working its way along the wall using his claw.”
Here’s the original story.
My response in one word: bleaurrhgghhh, followed by a shudder.
I am terribly afraid of snakes. Won’t find me going into the reptile house at the zoo. I nearly freaked out the first time I went to the South Carolina Aquarium … they had snakes from the different geographic areas of Carolina on display. Yikes!
Really, I hyperventilate and cry when there are snakes on a Discovery Channel special. Yes, I know I can turn the channel.
This fear of snakes is something I developed when my parents lived in the country. It takes something out of you when you open the back door to find a rat snake sunning itself on the top step. Or to find your pet cat under the house playing with a baby copperhead (my response? ‘Daddy, go get him!’ Daddy’s response? ‘Are you CRAZY? There’s a mad copperhead under the house!’) One visit to the house, I was inside, Mama was outside. She came in, told me she grabbed the pistol, told me she was going to shoot it in the yard. Mama’s a little whacky, so I thought okay……When she came back in I asked her what was she shooting at, thinking she’d say rocks or cans or some other typical target. “Snakes,” she replied. “Oh!” I said. I think I stayed inside the house the rest of the visit.
The first Father’s Day weekend after my father passed away I went to visit Mama. I was helping her with the fence and had to go to the back of the yard, in the woods. I took 2 of the dogs with me, thinking they’d scare anything with fangs or rattles before I came upon it. They started hunting moles, so I was on my own. I checked the fence line, and on the way back to the house, started to step and stopped when I heard this …. “hiiiiiisssssssssssss” from the ground. I looked down in time to see a little copperhead strike where my foot would have been. Let me tell you, this big girl levitated, and ran 100 yards in the opposite direction in record time, where I stopped and quietly lost my mind. Until I realized that I had run in the opposite direction from the house and had to make my way back through the woods that I was convinced were now teeming with venomous predators.
When I lived in Arkansas, there was a summer where this house…. I can’t remember if it was in Conway or Cabot, that was a congregation spot for copperhead snakes. It had never happened before, and every evening more and more snakes joined party. Herpetologists from several universities came to study the phenomena. The homeowners seemed to be pretty excited about the events. If it had been my house…. I would have either had to set fire to the yard and woods around it, or move and leave it to the snakes.
You want to know something funny about Bugworks? I LOVE cheesy snake movies on SciFi (I know it’s SyFy now, but that’s stupid). “Snakes on a Plane”? I’m there, love it. Searching for Anacondas in the Carpathians? On it, with popcorn, laughing at the bad acting and dismal graphics. Giant copperheads terrorizing an Old West town? Mesmerized. It makes no sense, but I love them. I think it’s a way for me to laugh at my fear, to best it instead of it besting me.
No Politics Weekend
This weekend is reserved for resting, and getting things set up for Thursday and Friday, so I can take care of myself. Part of that is refraining from visiting the usual blogs I read: Hot Air, Ace of Spades, Michelle Malkin. I’ve only been able to read the first entry on the Anchoress’s site because it’s about food instead of politics.
I had no idea how much time I waste reading those blogs and their comments. It’s been difficult not to click on them out of habit. But I’ve stopped myself.
And now, I must go check on the cheesy-bacon-onion biscuits I made from a recipe at Pioneer Woman. Hope they’re as pretty in my kitchen as they are on her blog.
yum
